Battles With Shyness.

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(From June 2014

Song Bird Songs

shyness

I’ve always been shy. As a child I hid behind my mother’s skirts, turned every shade of red when spoken to (still do sometimes.) I’ve heard the term “painfully shy” – that says it all. It was certainly painful at school with its loud mouthed bullies.

At adolescence I learnt to overcome it, learnt not to care what people thought, defiantly going the opposite direction with my outlandish clothes and escapades. I decided “to hell with trying to be like my peers, I’d let lose my creative side and claim supremacy!” (There was of course a great degree of arrogance in this!)

Abandoning the perceived restrictions of my environment I learnt to aim high, miraculously gaining a fine arts degree in a low class neighborhood where kids seldom attained the modest GCSE level. I discovered strangely that my shyness didn’t extend to public speaking (I could act any role). Even…

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I Hate TV! (Am I weird or is it just everyone else?)

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tv
I stopped watching TV in my teens (I’m now retired). It wasn’t a moral decision, (though it could have been) nor a wish to revolt against modern technology and actually I enjoy watching good movies and the odd documentary.
Rather it was a repugnance for the inferior quality trash that was being served out (it’s even worse now). I’m honestly not a snob and avoid “intellectuals” like the plague, I just can’t understand what attraction people see in watching it.
My father was very much addicted to his nightly “TV fix” so I’d sneak out after dinner (always served on our laps so he could watch) to paint and draw in the other room. After a while my mother joined me and we enjoyed our chatty evenings over paint and macramé while my dad watched on missing all the fun.
There’s never been the slightest temptation to get into watching it since and the really good part is all those “extra” hours I spent living instead of just watching.
I still have to grit my teeth and “endure” when visiting some of my relatives who have it playing as a kind of background noise that eventually sucks the heart from all conversation.
I do have some friends that feel the same (mostly alternative lifestyle types). I think it’s a bit like food, after you’ve had the good stuff for a while the junk food has no more appeal. When my kids were teenagers their friends couldn’t believe we didn’t have a TV license, but when they got a taste of what we did instead they were easily converted! Think about it if you had to choose between TV and a party for example which would you choose? No contest? You’re getting the idea…
Are there more that feel like me or am I the only one?