When I was very young I worried a lot about “friends”- being in with the cool crowd (not that I ever was lol!) I lived life with one eye on the mirror.
You see honesty isn’t only about telling the truth (though that’s important if you want to be trusted) but also about being honest about who you are.
My inner me finally revolted in my mid teens and I decided to just be me (I was pretty lousy at being anyone else anyway lol!). It worked amazingly well. I was suddenly catapulted from the bottom to the top of the coolness social strata even surpassing those unfeeling souls I’d tried to emulate. I found myself, the artist, outspoken iconoclast, rebel, dreamer, seeker, to be actually cresting the wave of late 60’s hippiedom.
Of course that didn’t last. I wouldn’t want to be associated with much that is thought cool today, but I learnt a valuable lesson – to be honest (even with myself). My long term friends are mostly the same. I trust their integrity. We talk straight and deep. I hate to play games, especially with people’s hearts or emotions.
Though I’ve learnt wisdom over the years and don’t generally blast folks with my more radical views or tales of my more colourful adventures, I still avoid empty conversations and can spot flattery or manipulation a mile off (and quietly cross its perpetrators off my list of acquaintances).
So if you happen to feel yourself boxed into pretending to be someone on the outside you are not on the inside, try it! Honesty really is the best policy!
If you don’t enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the chances are that you’re not going to be very happy. If someone bases his happiness or unhappiness on major events like a great new job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn’t going to be happy much of the time. If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness. —Andy Rooney
(Of far flung friends I seldom see – photo from bing).
It’s oh so good to see them when parted oh so long,
The hugs and friendly greetings that lend the heart a song.
The smile that bares a tremble, the tear that dims the eye,
The subtle, soft, remembrance of days that have gone by.
It seems too much to soak it in when love floats all around,
Another, yet another, of times voices coming round.
The smiles now bare more wrinkles than when you knew them first,
But time and tide can not erase; the spirit from them bursts.
And all are in remembrance of sweet times so long gone by
The times when we were young and free and we had fun, oh my!
I hear now in the echoes of vintages grown old
The hearts refined in times harsh hand have turned at last to gold.
The first of the decorations are up, the first Christmas carols/songs played and spirits are mounting.
My usual Christmas enthusiasm is multiplied by my daughter and 3 year old son staying with me (I infected all my kids with Christmas fever!) We promised each other to wait on December 1st before plunging into festivities and we pretty much did (well Dec 1st. is a Tuesday and she’s working).
I’ve been storing up Christmas quotes etc. my equally Chrismassy friends have leaked out early and hope to have a Christmas quote/thought/story/ picture every day till Christmas day so warning non Christmas folks beware! lol!
It’s Chinese but Anglicized, sweet and sour, but not succulent, noodles, stir fry, dumplings, but lacking the subtle nuances of the real thing. The smiles are polite and kind but lack the friendly vitality. I am heart sick for China.
The buffet tempted me in (that and my grandson’s eagerness) but it’s painful to be so tempted, only the feel of the chopsticks and the taste of the tea are the same. I long to book a flight and just go, but I remember too well the toll that trip takes on my body.
I recall my friends, the tearful partings, the smells, the humidity, the feeling of coming home, my other home. How I am sometimes torn between two worlds wishing I could spend time in both. Life is easier here but sometimes I miss that other home…
Five days into a new year and I feel I’m running somewhere behind trying frantically to catch up. With holiday events, meet ups with family and old and treasured friends somehow I feel I missed the coming plot.
Decisions I postponed “till after the holidays” now loom before me shaking my sleeve to get my attention. After a week of going between two houses (I was “dog sitting” for my daughter) whilst enjoying the company of a visiting old friend I seem to have been literally jumping between worlds. Now finally the holidays are over. I had a wonderful time, one of my best Christmas’ but instead of firing on all engines I feel a need to sit and ponder many things. Logic tells me this should have happened before new year. My grandson surprised me with all his new resolutions yet mine are unformed, waiting on decisions yet to be made.
Yet a new year is a beginning not an end. Perhaps it’s healthy and a sign of growth to be faced with so many questions. Perhaps rather than jumping in I can slowly feel my way forward as the mist clears and things take form. Perhaps this new year is something to be explored rather than conquered.
I’m so thankful for my many wonderful traveling companions over the years. What adventures we had, what miracles, what love and camaraderie. I wish I could live it all over again! (But time’s not up quite yet!)