Even when we doubt! (Another miracle).

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This miracle happened during my last stay in Italy. We were sharing a large house near Bari with old Christian friends. Their 13 year old daughter had some kind of undiagnosed problem. Doctors thought it was related to an exceptional growth spurt affecting her circulation, though they weren’t sure. It came with bouts of incredible pain. The only help they could offer were pain killers so strong they caused druglike hallucinations which scared her so that she wouldn’t take them. Her father however discovered a way to alleviate the attacks which generally came on at night by taking her for a walk every night at 2 am. to keep her blood moving.

The problem came when her sister came down with measles. We moved his daughter to a caravan in the garden hoping she wouldn’t get it, but she did. No longer able to get out of bed, let alone take a long walk, the attacks came in earnest causing her to scream and curl up in agony. The doctor offered to take her into hospital but explained they could do nothing really to help and since she was scared and wanted to stay with her parents maybe that was better.

We all prayed frantically for 3 or 4 days as, though we discovered ice packs helped relieve the pain somewhat, it was heart rending to see such a brave young girl in such agony. We all took turns to stay with her day and night, so she wouldn’t be alone when an attack came on (she’d have several a day), but it was hard to bear to hear her scream etc. It seemed our prayers were unanswered.

I was with her along with her dad one morning when another attack began. I ran for the ice packs while her dad prayed with her. A voice in my head told me firmly “tell her to stand up and walk”. I didn’t comply. Even touching her feet to the ground would set her screaming. I didn’t have the faith, so I kept silent, afraid to cause her more pain.

Then she said to her father, “Jesus told me to stand up and walk.” He didn’t hesitate but helped her up. She stood, no screaming, not only that but the pain vanished. She began to smile, then laugh. Raising her hands and praising God she walked out of the caravan and into the house totally healed. Tears were streaming down all our faces. Why our prayers were answered then and not before we didn’t know only that God had answered and a miracle had happenned.

The next afternoon she had one more attack while with her dad, but it never came to fruition. He now knew we had power over it and rebuked it before it ever got going. That is many years ago and from that time on she never had a problem with it. What of the measles? I guess that got healed too, though we hardly noticed, the other healing was so miraculous from one minute to the next.

And Yet…

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Alone we watch last leaves of autumn fall upon this world
Fearing stark winter follows icy breath in hand.
Alone we watch the fleeting sun rise and set its measure of time
Believing one day the frost shall melt at the coming.
Alone we ponder and learn of wonders withheld,
And yet, at small space, from our present eyes
Alone we partake as one that peeps through a slit at a waiting world of wonder
One that is warmed with thoughts and emotions as yet unformulated.
For light streams through in colored glory from worlds beyond if we still ourselves to listen
Soft words of comfort echo through chasms formed by love long ago
Yet still they calm our senses , refresh our vision, as a fresh wind from the mountain.
Stop, look up, and we will see fresh vision here with God with we…

(While troubled and pained by recent attacks in London and in Syria I came across this old poem and found comfort.)

Full of the joys of spring (in autumn?)

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Yes, I’m a happy bunny! After months of waiting, referrals etc. I finally got to see a specialist who could give me a clear diagnosis of the pains I’ve been having for the last year or so in my left thigh. Not only that but the cure is great!
It seems the nerve has become inflamed, causing the muscle to contract to protect it. The cure he prescribed?
1)Yoga, which I already found tends to ease it. He loved that I was doing that as apparently it’s the best thing,gently stretching the muscle while it relaxes the nerves.
2)Taking a walk around break every 20 mins while sitting (OK not great for my writing but still pleasant)
3)Chilling, relaxing and avoiding stress. He explained the mind and nerves are closely related so a chilled mind relaxes the nerve so it can heal(just how good can it get?)
He was very good at explaining and took time to do so, explaining why the former ultrasound treatment would have irritated it (you don’t want to overstimulate a nerve!!!) He’d also studied acupuncture and holistic medicine (unusual for an NHS doctor)and was happy I didn’t feel I needed any medication(The pain isn’t bad.)
He left me feeling great.I had been concerned not knowing what was causing it, especially when it got a lot worse after “treatment” So I’m celebrating – relieved to know it’s very minor, and I can sure live with the cure! lol!

Pain. (Flash fiction.)

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Looking down at the wooden handle of the kitchen knife grasped in her fingers she took a deep breath. Ridged scars adorned her arm, raised reminders of past pain, agony that wouldn’t go away, that had become so unbearable that only more pain could drive it forth. This time would be different, this time would end all…

She felt the sting, numb yet sharp. Blood welled up, overflowed, spotting the bathroom linoleum, surging, spreading in an expanding pool. Detached she watched it grow as her mind weakened. Faces invaded her vision, the ones that hurt her, that didn’t return the love she craved. Someone was pounding on the door. It didn’t matter, they’d be too late. A whirl of darkness took her, comforting soft oblivion…

Oblivion didn’t last, light appeared. No! Not this! She wanted an end. She wanted it to stop. A form appeared in the glow, a face awash with tears. A homely face, like hers, yet filled with something overflowing. She could not look away. Then she knew – He loved her, loved her without conditions, loved her just as she was, and the love washed away the pain, washed away the scars. She gazed deep into the eyes. The tears were for her. Like a tidal wave, an awe inspiring rush of wind, his love washed through her, cleansing, healing, understanding. She was swept away in its current, waking to a hospital bed.

The banging on the door… one of the other boarders must have saved her. She recalled the blood welling across the lino. It must have reached the door… She’d failed in her attempt, but it didn’t matter, the scars didn’t matter, the pain had gone. She was loved!

My new accessories!

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Sadly a minor slip on the stairs means two weeks of a boot and crutches due to two chipped bones and possible ligament injury. At first I thought it must be broken as the pain was excruciating, I was in shock and felt like throwing up.To even move it was agony.
Things I’m thankful for:
1)It’s just a chip not a break.
2) My daughter was dropping my grandson (he usually comes to my door alone)and coped with wonderful calm and efficiency.
3) After sending prayer request messages in the car the pain dramatically eased before I got to the hospital and I could move the toes again.
We managed to fit the hospital stuff in before my daughter had to leave for a vital board meeting (just ran over 5 mins.)so she was able to drive me home.
4) I’d just done my weekly shopping.
5) I hadn’t yet put my office chair in the garage as planned (it has wheels)
6) Two of my daughters came to cook for me (due to a prior arrangement to meet up)
7) My daughter had helped me sign up to “Net Flix” the day before.
8) All pain had stopped by the afternoon and I never needed the strong pain killers the doctor prescribed.
9) The egg sized swelling on my ankle bone had completely vanished when I took the boot off to go to sleep.
10) It seems even when something bad happens God still takes amazing care of me!

Pain and Wonder.

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from December 2014

Song Bird Songs

mary 2

It didn’t feel much like Christmas to Mary when she journeyed to Bethlehem, she could only focus on the pain, and worry if they would make it in time. No, the wonderful feeling came much later, first at the birth, and when shepherds came and her faith was rewarded. Even then all was not perfect, the stable was drafty, the floor hard, and she still ached a little and was tired from the labour, but that was all a part of it. Had she had Jesus comfortably at home it would not have been the same. Like many things, problems, sickness, the extra efforts needed are part of what will make it wonderful! Rest after labour, peace after tribulation is all the more sweet!

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Pain/purge?

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tooth

How strange that something as small as a tooth can give such  incredible pain! I spent Thursday night in some of the worst pain I’ve ever experienced (I’d choose childbirth over it any day!) Think of the pain when a dentist’s drill accidentally touches a nerve, but continuous for hours on end. Painkillers had no effect whatsoever. I couldn’t touch one side of my face and head and could feel my swollen cheek pressing between my teeth. All I could do was try to hold out till morning when I could phone my dentist.

Finally, around 4am. I reached the end of my strength and control as it seemed to come in ever intensifying waves, I tried not to scream and told God frantically in prayer that He’d promised not to tempt us above what we are able (I was already all prayed up by this time lol).

I had a sensation of something giving way and slowly the pain ebbed. Exhausted, I fell asleep instantly to awake pain free (though with a highly sensitive area I didn’t dare try to touch).

I was overwhelmed by the total bliss of being without pain. I’d taken it for granted. Everything was so good by comparison. I could again snuggle into my pillow, i could think of other things beside the pain. I could enjoy my life again. Reaching for my morning devotional book every word seemed to come alive with vibrant meaning. A great peace came on my soul as if the pain had cleansed away all the dross. I never ever want to go through something like that again and yet even this held a silver lining.

I cannot conceive what it must be like to live in constant pain. I have great respect for folks that do this. I know I’m not strong enough to bear it, but my prayer is that, like me, at some point they can have the total bliss of being minus pain.

Dream Master (no. 3)

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flash fiction from October 2014

Song Bird Songs

lights
The darkness was soft around her like a comforting blanket, warm and snug, endued with a faint glow. Embedded in the walls, if such they could be called since they had no substance, glimmered pinpoints of light, momentarily flickering. She reached out her hand, as in slow motion, clasping substance in the mist. A jewel glistened within her hand, glowing in the darkness. She reached out eagerly to get more wondering at the rainbow forms glistening on her palm.
She was aware of a being beside her his face picked out in silver light. The dream master was here.
“I’m sorry you had to come alone,” he whispered, his voice an echo of the stillness. “This lesson cannot be taught another way. I wanted you to overcome your fear of the darkness, those black times when clouds of doom and destruction overcome your life.”
Reaching up he plucked a delicate…

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