Enough!

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desk

He’d had enough, more than enough! He just wanted it to end. He looked morbidly at the pills, pills, to sleep, pills to stay awake, to offset his stress levels, pills to adjust effects of other pills. It would be easy enough, a beguiling inner voice said. But what of his family, his few remaining friends?

That’s the coward’s way out, he told himself. Whatever else he was, he was no coward! Besides he didn’t really want to die. He wanted to live. But this existence, this endless matrix he found himself in, this was not living; it was a slow and painful death. He glanced at his “prison” hanging in its immaculate plastic wrappings, the crisp lapels, expensive cut, to hide a slowly disintegrating physique. It defined who he was, restricting him to a role, (an ugly one at that).

Angrily he grasped the hanger flinging it aside. He eyed the pills. Hell no! Gathering them together he tossed them into the black steel bin beside his desk. Something stirred within, rebellion! There was no one to tell of his decision, the immaculate penthouse apartment was empty, devoid of life, but deep in his heart a flame had kindled. Ignited, it devoured the dross, enlightening his surroundings. He would live once more, and through him others.

He sipped his coffee, feet propped triumphantly on the creamy white desk veneer, as he watched the sun rise.

The 60’s (Both of Them!)

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hippies
The 60’s brought cataclysmic changes into my life. It was the time I ceased to try vainly to adhere to the “norms” to conform to be accepted, and began to live the life of that strange and wonderful person – myself. It spanned from my first grown up movie (the Beatles “hard Day’s Night”) watched with my mum as I was too young to go alone, to my entering into the fabulous new world of fine art and college degrees.
It entailed much smashing of stereotyped barriers (poor girls from council estates didn’t do that stuff) discovering and exploring whole new worlds of endless breathtaking vision formerly concealed from my eyes. It was a time of freedom, adventure, learning, and above all discovering others like myself.

Now all of that is long, long ago. I have entered another kind of “60’s” a time when my “batteries” don’t recharge like they used to, when even in retirement I have to pace myself. Once again the questions come. How do I want to invest the time remaining to me here?
Wild adventures no longer have the same appeal, besides I’ve done that. Yet, though my body has aged (and frequently reminds me of my limitations), my heart and spirit remain the same, looking for new challenges, new creations, wanting to wring the best from each day, to learn, to explore, to interact.
This is a new time of re evaluation, another new beginning.

The 60’s (Both of Them!)
The 60’s brought cataclysmic changes into my life. It was the time I ceased to try vainly to adhere to the “norms” to conform to be accepted, and began to live the life of that strange and wonderful person – myself. It spanned from my first grown up movie (the Beatles “hard Day’s Night”) watched with my mum as I was too young to go alone, to my entering into the fabulous new world of fine art and college degrees.
It entailed much smashing of stereotyped barriers (poor girls from council estates didn’t do that stuff) discovering and exploring whole new worlds of endless breathtaking vision formerly concealed from my eyes. It was a time of freedom, adventure, learning, and above all discovering others like myself.

Now all of that is long, long ago. I have entered another kind of “60’s” a time when my “batteries” don’t recharge like they used to, when even in retirement I have to pace myself. Once again the questions come. How do I want to invest the time remaining to me here?
Wild adventures no longer have the same appeal, besides I’ve done that. Yet, though my body has aged (and frequently reminds me of my limitations), my heart and spirit remain the same, looking for new challenges, new creations, wanting to wring the best from each day, to learn, to explore, to interact.
This is a new time of re evaluation, another new beginning.